Best Cell Phones

At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
Author: W. Somerset Maugham

At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would write in that typeface.
Author: David Sedaris

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Author: Emo Phillips

At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.
Author: Dame Rose Macaulay

Attempt easy tasks as if they were difficult, and difficult as if they were easy; in the one case that confidence may not fall asleep, in the other that it may not be dismayed.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: How can you tell that the guy who attacked the White house with a plane was insane? A: He seems to have thought Clinton would be in his own bedroom at night. Q: What did Hillary tell Bill when the Paula Jones story broke? A: "You idiot! I told you to let Teddy Kennedy drive her home!
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a container of yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes

What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.
This is the joke from a category: Clinton jokes