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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Author: Groucho Marx

I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
Author: Orson Welles

I have Immortal longings in me.
Author: William Shakespeare

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Author: Blaise Pascal

I have everything, yet have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still of nothing am I in want.
Author: Terence

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he's in touch with reality now. So they ask him, " Why did you put the newspaper down first?" He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None, he's still clinging to the old lightbulb.
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes