Best Cell Phones

But then there's a moment like tonight, a profound and transcendent experience, the feeling as if a door has opened, and it's all because of that instrument, that incredible, magical instrument.
Author: Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

But what is the difference between literature and journalism? ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all.
Author: Oscar Wilde

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Author: William Shakespeare

By asking for the impossible we obtain the possible.
Author: Italian Proverb

By far the best proof is experience.
Author: Sir Francis Bacon

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "OK, I'm a prostitute.". "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?". "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

A man walked into an appliance store and asked the price of a 25" remote controlled color television set. "One dollar," the clerk replied. "You've got to be kidding." "Look, Mac," the clerk said, "do you want it or not?" Of course, the customer gave him a dollar. On the way out with his incredible bargain, the suctomer saw a big frost-free refrigerator with automatic ice maker. "How much for that?" he asked the clerk. "Fifty cents," came the reply. The customer forked over the half dollar, saying, "What the heck is going on here?" "Nothing is goining on here," the clerk snapped. "But my boss is at my house with my wife. And what he's doing to her, I'm doing to his business."
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you have to help me!" The doctor asks, "What's your problem?" The guy says, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'...give the wife a quick one, and then go to work. On the way to work, I carpool with the next door neighbor's wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work. Once I get there, I do some work and then at morning tea time, I go into the photocopy room and crank one out with one of the young office girls. At lunch, I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a good boning. For afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a good servicing. Then, I go home and slip the maid a few inches. Then at night, I give the wife another screw......." "So...????" asked the doctor. "What's your problem???" The guy says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate!"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver - by this time scared out of his wits - yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?" The other guy yells back, "Fuck no! Do you know anything about lighting gas stoves?"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes