The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
Author: John Maynard Keynes

The beauty of daylight-saving time is that it just makes everyone feel sunnier.
Author: Edward Markey

The belief that there are other life forms in the universe is a matter of faith. There is not a single shred of evidence for any other life forms, and in forty years of searching, none has been discovered. There is absolutely no evidentiary reason to main
Author: Michael Crichton

The best armor is to keep out of range.
Author: Italian Proverb

The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men, Gang aft agley, An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain, For promis'd joy! (The best laid schemes of Mice and Men oft go awry, And leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy!)
Author: Robert Burns

Melburn was strolling along downtown Natchez with a framed picture under his arm. "Hey, what yew got there?" asked a neighbor. "I dunno much 'bout art," replied Melburn, "but Ah just bought me an original Michelangelo for two hundred dollars! It's one of the few he ever did in ballpoint!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?" " 'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

A silly boy spent the afternoon with some friends, but when the time came for him to leave, a terrific storm started with thunder, lightning and torrential rain. 'You can't go home in this,' said one of his friends, ' you'd better stay the night.' 'That's very kind of you,' said the boy. ' I'll just run home and get my pyjamas.'
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes