I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
Author: Martin Luther King Jr.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
Author: Tom Lehrer

The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.
Author: Okakura Kakuzo

The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.
Author: Ulysses S. Grant

The attempt and not the deed Confounds us.
Author: William Shakespeare

Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid? Jessie: Well, it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Calvin went to Pearson's Pet Shop to complain that his canary wouldn't sing. "File the beak just a little," said the owner, "and the bird will sing. But if you file it too much, the canary will die." Two weeks later Pearson ran into Calvin on the street and asked about his canary. "He died," said Calvin. "But I told you not to file the beak too much." "I didn't," explained Calvin, "but by the time I got him out of the vise, he was already dead."
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater. Rigby rushed up to the box office and said, "Gimme two tickets for tonight's show." "Sorry," said the box office attendant. "There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left." "Well, I'll be hog tied! Only two left in standing room!" said the farm boy. "Are they together?"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. "I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the NCO. "Why did you come back?" "Because there's already somebody there!"
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don't want to have to retrain them.
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes