Nothing is more like a wise man than a fool who holds his tongue.
Author: Saint Francis de Sales

No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it.
Author: Napoleon Hill

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Author: A. Whitney Brown

People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it.
Author: Howard Newton

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"
Author: Terry Pratchett

Q: Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love? A: They got married in the spring.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What is the most breathless thing on television ? The Pink Panter Show !
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What's the difference between a sigh, a car and a monkey? A sigh is oh, dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you, dear.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes