If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
Author: Vince Lombardi

Physical deformity, calls forth our charity. But the infinite misfortune of moral deformity calls forth nothing but hatred and vengeance.
Author: Clarence Darrow

Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Author: Bible

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice.
Author: Leon Blum

One day a wife complained, "This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch." The husband grunted and replied, "The darn clock always was slow."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What kind of hair do oceans have? ...Wavy hair.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Did you hear about the ghoul's favorite hotel? It had running rot and mould in every room.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

When Fred was applying for a credit card, the manager of the credit card company asked him if he had much money in the bank. "I have," said Fred. "How much?" asked the manager. "I don't know exactly," said Fred, "I haven't shaken it lately."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes