Best quotes to send by SMS
George S. Patton Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
Author: George S. Patton

Edward Bulwer-Lytton Talent does what it can, Genius does what it must.
Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Aldus Manutius Talk of nothing but business, and dispatch that business quickly.
Author: Aldus Manutius

Margaret Cho Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.
Author: Margaret Cho

Francis Hutcheson That action is best which procures the greatest happiness.
Author: Francis Hutcheson

The best jokes to send by SMS
Humor jokes Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.
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Humor jokes Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Humor jokes Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $6,000. The loan officer was quite taken a back, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him 6,000. Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $6,000 in principal, and $18.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away. "Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow? The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for t wo weeks and pay only $18.40?"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Humor jokes An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: "What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black." "Well, *some* of the sheep in Scotland are black," replies the experimental physicist. The heoretical physicist considers this for a moment and says "Well, at least one of the sheep in Scotland is black." "Well," the philosopher responds, "on one side, anyway."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Humor jokes Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would they?
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes