It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Author: Woody Allen

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Author: Carlos Castaneda

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
Author: Rabbi Abraham Heschel

It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.
Author: Albert Einstein

Sexually,we are all competing for the same seat on the bus and the thing that holds it together is the tightly held conceit that we are all sexual gods. How can I believe in my own uniqueness when there's a cat out there exactly the same as me?
Author: Jeff Melvoin

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster? You can dip a biscuit in your tea, but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes