I can't imagine anything worse than being required to have fun.
Author: Scott Westerfeld

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.
Author: Sam Rayburn

It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.
Author: Julius Caesar

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone.
Author: Gertrude Stein

Why are fried onions like a photocopy machine? They keep repeating themselves.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts. 'Would you like a cherry on the top ?' asked the waitress. 'No, thanks,' said the girl, 'I'm on a diet !'
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why are oranges like bells? You can peel (peal) both of them.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ? Bacon a cake for your birthday !
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?" HUSBAND: "No thanks. I'm too tired. Let's just eat at home."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes