Best quotes to send by SMS

Proverbs are all very fine when there's nothing to worry you, but when you're in real trouble, they're not a bit of help.
Author: L. M. Montgomery
How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin.
Author: Ronald Reagan
Put yourself on view. This brings your talents to light.
Author: Baltasar Gracian
Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not.
Author: Bible
Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together.
Author: Petrarch
The best jokes to send by SMS

Q: Where do you find 60 million french
jokes?
A: In France.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes
What's the difference between an Italian
mother
and a Jewish mother?
An Italian mother says, "If you
don't eat it, I'll kill you."
A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat
it, I'll kill myself."
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes
A boy comes home from school and tells his
mother that he got a part in
the school play. "What part?" the
mother asked.
"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied.
"Go back
to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking
role!"
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes
Q: Why can't Chinese Barbecue?
A:
Because the rice falls through the grill
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes
How does every ethnic joke start?
By
looking over your shoulder.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes