Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
Author: Matt Frewer

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
Author: William Feather

I can't imagine anything worse than being required to have fun.
Author: Scott Westerfeld

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.
Author: Sam Rayburn

It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.
Author: Julius Caesar

Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, "I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest you check your scales." The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, "Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear. "There!" he said proudly. "I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?" "Oh yes, she can," said the boy. "She keeps ducks."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Teacher: If you saw me standing by a witch, what fruit would it remind you of? Pupil: A pear.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes