I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done.
Author: Henry Ford

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Author: Woody Allen

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Author: Carlos Castaneda

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
Author: Rabbi Abraham Heschel

It is the duty of every citizen according to his best capacities to give validity to his convictions in political affairs.
Author: Albert Einstein

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat, he picked it up with his fork, held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig?' Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to?'
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the grapefruit.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

How do you make gold soup? Put 14 carrots in it.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes