I will make a Star-chamber matter of it.
Author: William Shakespeare

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
Author: Nathaniel Branden

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
Author: Matt Frewer

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
Author: William Feather

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Sign in restaurant window: "Eat now - Pay waiter."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered. "Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special." "What's a Midnight Special?" "A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread." "Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?" "Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes