How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep Holidays than Commandments.
Author: Benjamin Franklin

Irresponsible power is inconsistent with liberty, and must corrupt those who exercise it.
Author: John Calhoun

Set all things in their own peculiar place, and know that order is the greatest grace.
Author: John Dryden

I think the primary function of radio is that people want company.
Author: Elise Nordling

She was conscious that the things she did were the things she had always wanted to do.
Author: Zelda Fitzgerald

What are apricots? Where monkeys sleep.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Have you got any broken biscuits? Yes, I have. Well, you shouldn't be so clumsy!
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. "Why are we running so fast?" asked one. "Because," said the second, "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes