See first that the design is wise and just: that ascertained, pursue it resolutely; do not for one repulse forego the purpose that you resolved to effect.
Author: William Shakespeare

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done.
Author: Henry Ford

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Author: Woody Allen

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Author: Carlos Castaneda

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
Author: Rabbi Abraham Heschel

What fish make the best sandwich? A peanut butter and jellyfish
This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...
This is the joke from a category: Fishing jokes

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes