I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
Author: Mitch Hedberg

Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
Author: Nathaniel Branden

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
Author: Matt Frewer

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
Author: William Feather

I can't imagine anything worse than being required to have fun.
Author: Scott Westerfeld

What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

I'd say he was spineless. Yes, about as spineless as cooked spaghetti.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What's the best day to eat bacon? Fry-day.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down? Crumbs!
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes

Have you heard the story about the loaf of bread? No. Oh, crumbs.
This is the joke from a category: Food jokes