Best quotes to send by SMS

Practice, the master of all things.
Author: Augustus Octavius
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
Author: George Burns
Prefer loss to the wealth of dishonest gain; the former vexes you for a time; the latter will bring you lasting remorse.
Author: Chilo
Pride grows in the human heart like lard on a pig.
Author: Alexander Solzhenitsyn
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
Author: Ogden Nash
The best jokes to send by SMS

Wife to
Husband: I'll have you know I've
got the face of a teenager!
Husband to Wife: Then you should give it
back, you're wearing it
out.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes
How did your mom know
you hadn't washed your
face?
I forgot to wet the soap.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes
Why is your nose in the middle of your
face?
Because it is the scenter (centre).
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?
A.When we see your face we both crack up!
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes
Boy: You've
got a face like a million
dollars.
Girl: Have I really?
Boy: Yes ? it's green and wrinkly.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes