Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Author: Sam Levenson

Speak no evil of an absent friend. (Non male loquare absenti amico)
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

Speech is the mirror of the mind. (Imago Animi Sermo Est)
Author: Seneca

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Author: Doug Larson

Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.
Author: Chuang-tzu

You've failed history again ! Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ? I don't know, I wasn't invited !
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark? A knight light
This is the joke from a category: History jokes

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" "They're Carol's."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment. This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her. The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the re st of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off. Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying: "Cindy, you have sinned."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes