Best Cell Phones

The first condition of immortality is death.
Author: Stanislaw J. Lec

The first duty to children is to make them happy, If you have not made them so, you have wronged them, No other good they may get can make up for that.
Author: Charles Buxton

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.
Author: Richard Feynman

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
Author: Samuel Butler

The foundation of every state is the education of its youth.
Author: Diogenes Laertius

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law, but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me." "My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away." "I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it." He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?" "In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Why did the janitor take early retirement? Because he realized that grime doesn't pay.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

After a visit to the circus, Geoff and Don were discussing the thrills and marvels they had seen. "I didn't think much of the knife thrower, did you?" said Geoff. "I thought he was great!" enthused Don. "Well, I didn't," said Geoff. "He kept throwing those knives at that soppy girl but he didn't hit her once."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, "He got away, sir!" The inspector was furious. "But I told you to put a man on all the exits!" he roared. "How could he have got away?" "He left by one of the entrances, sir!"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes