
It was beautiful and simple, as truly great swindles are.
Author: O. Henry
If men will not be governed by God, they will be ruled by tyrants.
Author: William Penn
It is folly for an eminent person to think of escaping censure, and a weakness to be affected by it. All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of every age, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense against reproach but ob
Author: Joseph Addison
It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward.
Author: Lewis Carroll
It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.
Author: Roberto Benigni

Q. What do you call a one legged
linedancer?
A. Eileen (I Lean)
This is the joke from a category: Dance jokes
A woman goes into a funeral home to make
arrangements
for her
husband's funeral. She tells the director
that she wants her husband
to be buried in a dark blue
suit.
He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the black
suit
that he's wearing?"
But she insists that it must be a blue suit
and gives him a blank
check to buy one.
When she comes back
for the wake, she sees her husband in the coffin
and he is wearing a
beautiful blue suit. She tells the director how
much she loves the
suit and asks how much it cost.
He says, "Actually, it didn't
cost anything. The funniest thing
happened. As soon as you left,
another corpse was brought in, this one
wearing a blue suit. I noticed
that they were about the same size, and
asked the other widow if she
would mind if her husband were buried in
a black suit. She said that
was fine with her. So... I switched the
heads."
This is the joke from a category: Dead and dying jokes
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth,
but don't worry it will take just five minutes.
Patient: And how
much will it cost?
Dentist: It's $90.00.
Patient: $90.00 for just
a few minutes work???
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you
like.
This is the joke from a category: Dentist jokes
Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a
pillow?
A: Down in the mouth!
This is the joke from a category: Dinosaur jokes
The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier.
With considerable
bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of
battle, in the line of
fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead
soldier. In a hail of
bullets, he dove back to
safety.
"Private," the officer said, "I'm recommending you for a medal. You
risked your life to save the locations of our secret
warehouses."
"Warehouses?" the private shouted. "I thought you said
whorehouses!"
This is the joke from a category: Dirty jokes