Best Cell Phones

Memory feeds imagination.
Author: Amy Tan

Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they say.
Author: Charles Caleb Colton

Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children.
Author: William Penn

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.
Author: Lois Wyse

I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
Author: Paula Poundstone

A young biologist was sitting on a stump at the edge of their camp. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. One of the other biologists saw his sad looks and asked, "What's the matter?" The young biologist said, "They put me in the same tent with old Doctor Perkins. He snores all night, takes a bath once a month, and talks non-stop about back when he studied passenger pigeons. He's so damn old, I think he was a lackey for Charles Darwin. He generally just makes my life Hell. We had a big fight about it and they split us up for a month" The older biologist said, "That should make you happy." The young biologist sadly shook his head and said, "Not when the month is up today!"
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

An old mountain man in Arkansas was sick and bedridden. He had not been outdoors for a few weeks and had a sharp craving for a meal of wild squirrel. He summoned his half-idiot son into the room and instructed him to go squirrel hunting and bring him back a squirrel or two. He also told his son to be very careful not to shoot the squirrel in the head as he would need its brains later to "tan" the squirrel's pelt. (Tanning a skin using the animal's brains is a common practice in certain areas, it generally takes about one brain to tan one skin). The idiot son spent most of the day searching the woods for tree squirrels, but was not having any luck. Finally, high up in a sweet-gum tree, he spotted a squirrel's head sticking out from a hole. He remembered his Pa's admonitions to save the brains. After deciding he may not have another chance, he shot it in the head, thus ruining the brains. r His sick Pa was upset, "I can't tan that skin without no brains!" he said, "Now what am I a gonna do?" Thinking quickly, he remembered that up on the river there were 3 fisheries biologists doing some field work. "Well, we're only tanning one squirrel skin, walk up the river and shoot one of them dang fish biologists and I'll use his brains to tan the skin," he told the son. The son did as he was told and soon returned with the prize. As it turned out, the brain wasn't large enough and the boy was upset as he would have to make another trip to harvest the other two biologist's brains. "Look on the bright side, boy", the old man told him, "Two more ought to be just enough. We'd have been in real trouble if they was BOTANISTS!"
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck
This is the joke from a category: Biologist jokes

What's brown and white and flies all over? Thanksgiving turkey, when you carve it with a chain saw!
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes

How do you get a cut-price parrot ? Plant bird seed !
This is the joke from a category: Bird jokes