There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.
Author: Florynce Kennedy

There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness.
Author: Franz Kafka

Self-respect is the cornerstone of all virtue.
Author: John Herschel

There exist only three beings worthy of respect: the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create.
Author: Charles Baudelaire

There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well ... are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'? A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!' Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion. "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest. "Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, next I can become Arch-Bishop." said the Priest. "Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi. "If I work real hard and do a good job as Arch-Bishop, it's possible for me to become a full Bishop." said the Priest. "O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest, begining to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal." "And then?" asked the Rabbi. The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope." "Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi. "Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?" "Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes