There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.
Author: James M. Barrie

If men would consider not so much wherein they differ, as wherein they agree, there would be far less of uncharitableness and angry feeling.
Author: Joseph Addison

There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are more fools in the world than there are people.
Author: Heinrich Heine

There are new words now that excuse everybody. Give me the good old days of heroes and villains. the people you can bravo or hiss. There was a truth to them that all the slick credulity of today cannot touch.
Author: Bette Davis

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?" The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor." Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?" The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor." The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?" The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President." This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is m ore important than the President?!" The policeman calmly wispered: "I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who is this guy, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

How many cops does it take to change light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him. Only one, but he has to see an officer do it first. Three, one to do it, one to direct traffic and one to say "Show's over, nothing left to see here, folks, move along."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains justbecame too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the biketook off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted t he speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, there is a guy on a bike honking his horn trying to pass....
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem-a 10-year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it. Oh yes dear, what happened ? I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them? Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes