Best Cell Phones

I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.
Author: Nelson Mandela

I am not bound to please thee with my answers.
Author: William Shakespeare

I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Author: Buzz Aldrin

I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.
Author: Nancy Reagan

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.
Author: Demetri Martin

Knock Knock Who's there ? Curly ! Curly who ? Curly Q !
This is the joke from a category: Knock Knock jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cyprus ! Cyprus who ? Cyprus the bell !
This is the joke from a category: Knock Knock jokes

Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek? Nobody will look for them.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he wouldn't make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied, "When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same way."
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes