The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
Author: Voltaire

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Author: Lucille Ball

How many a man has dated a new era in his life from the reading of a book.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
Author: Baltasar Gracian

The speed of the boss is the speed of the team.
Author: Lee Iacocca

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How is lightning like a violist's fingers? A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

A violist and a cellist were standing on a sinking ship together. "Help!" cried the cellist, "I can't swim!" "Don't worry," said the violist, "just fake it."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola? A: A viola burns longer.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes