The same refinement which brings us new pleasures, exposes us to new pains.
Author: Edward Bulwer-Lytton

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
Author: Fyodor Dostoevsky

The secret of all power is - save your force. If you want high pressure you must choke off waste.
Author: Joseph Farrell

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent.
Author: Mel Lazarus

The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.
Author: Pearl Buck

Q: How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house. Explaining who he was he asks "What happened?" "Well," one of the officer's says, "It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground." The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief... "My agent came to my house?"
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Neighbour: Haven't I seen you on TV? Actor: Well, I do appear, on and off, you know. How do you like me? Neighbour: Off.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes