It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.
Author: Harry S Truman

If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
Author: Yiddish Proverb

The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful
Author: Frederick Locker-Lampson

The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood.
Author: Jean Cocteau

A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party?" "About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly. "NO!" exploded the teacher.. "I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?" "Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says.. "I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, "There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!" George Bush replies, "Oh yeah and tell me what you see?" Osama answers, "I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful." George Bush says, "Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan... I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street." Osama asks, "And what do they say?" George answers, "Hell, I don't know. I can't read Hebrew!"
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes