Best Cell Phones

If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts.
Author: Peter McWilliams

If you want to catch something, running after it isn't always the best way.
Author: Lois McMaster Bujold

If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

If you would not step into the harlot's house, do not go by the harlot's door.
Author: Thomas Secker

Ignorance gives one a large range of probabilities.
Author: George Eliot

Customer: Why doesn't your menu list prices? Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Diner: May I please have a glass of water? Waiter: Why, are you thirsty? Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Patron: Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe? Waiter: Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does, but it smells like soup.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter: Why didn't you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because I'm a short order cook.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes