If economists could manage to get themselves thought of as humble, competent people on a level with dentists, that would be splendid.
Author: John Maynard Keynes

Remember! Things in life will not always run smoothly. Sometimes we will be rising toward the heights - then all will seem to reverse itself and start downward. The great fact to remember is that the trend of civilization itself is forever upward, that a
Author: Endicott Peabody

I believe America's best days are ahead of us because I believe that the future belongs to freedom, not to fear.
Author: John Kerry

I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
Author: Edward Chilton

Reprove thy friend privately; commend him publicly.
Author: Solon

A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck."
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes

Q. What does CHAOS stand for? A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes

Q: What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"? A: FIRETRUCK.
This is the joke from a category: Firefighter jokes

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?" The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks the man, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes