Best quotes to send by SMS

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
Author: H. L. Mencken
Pity is the virtue of the law, and none but tyrants use it cruelly.
Author: William Shakespeare
Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.
Author: Edna St. Vincent Millay
I believe the future is only the past again, entered through another gate.
Author: Arthur Wing Pinero
Politics has less to do with where you live than where your heart is.
Author: Margaret Cho
The best jokes to send by SMS

Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry?
Because it's always on a sundae!
This is the joke from a category: Easter jokes
Why did the Easter Bunny have to
fire the
duck?
Because he kept quacking all the eggs!
This is the joke from a category: Easter jokes
How does the Easter Bunny stay
healthy?
Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
This is the joke from a category: Easter jokes
Why did the elephant paint
himself with
different colours?
Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box
!
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes
What's grey, stands in a river when it
rains and doesn't get wet ?
An elephant with an umbrella !
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes