I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
Author: Edward Chilton

Reprove thy friend privately; commend him publicly.
Author: Solon

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.
Author: Sir Edward Appleton

Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
Author: Terry Pratchett

Man is born a predestined idealist, for he is born to act. To act is to affirm the worth of an end, and to persist in affirming the worth of an end is to make and ideal.
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes

A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses. "Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same." "Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

"Tell me," said the hiker to the local farmer, "will this pathway take me to the main road?" "No, sir," replied the farmer, "you'll have to go by yourself!"
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down. During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!" A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's a completely different place. The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!" "Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens? He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes