Best Cell Phones

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Author: Dick Gregory

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
Author: Harry S Truman

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Author: Victor Borge

I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best.
Author: Frida Kahlo

I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
Author: Sydney Biddle Barrows

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording? A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?" Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes