Best Cell Phones

I once said, "We will bury you," and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.
Author: Nikita Khrushchev

I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.
Author: Alexander Woollcott

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
Author: Frederick Douglass

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
Author: Orson Welles

I row after health like a waterman...
Author: Jonathan Swift

Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried? A: Because he's Haydn!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper. She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is. The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes