Live among men as if God beheld you; speak to God as if men were listening.
Author: Seneca

The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.
Author: Bible

Houses are built to live in, not to look on; therefore, let use be preferred before uniformity, except where both may be had.
Author: Sir Francis Bacon

Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.
Author: John Ruskin

No computer network with pretty graphics can ever replace the salespeople that make our society work.
Author: Clifford Stoll

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt. He replies, "Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a br other, would he like spinach?"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes