Houses are built to live in, not to look on; therefore, let use be preferred before uniformity, except where both may be had.
Author: Sir Francis Bacon

Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.
Author: John Ruskin

No computer network with pretty graphics can ever replace the salespeople that make our society work.
Author: Clifford Stoll

The man who runs may fight again.
Author: Menander

The measure of a master is his success in bringing all men around to his opinion twenty years later.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd ever heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!" "Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!" "Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and couldn't bear passing her by. He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin, exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!" "Quiet," she ordered him. "You'll wake up my husband. He's taking a nap in the back seat."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Husband: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body? Wife: Your sense of humor.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Can you loan me two hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident." The stranger says, "If you need two hundred dollars, what are you using to gamble with?" The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes