I had rather be right than be President.
Author: Henry Clay

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
Author: Jilly Cooper

The man who backbites an absent friend, nay, who does not stand up for him when another blames him, the man who angles for bursts of laughter and for the repute of a wit, who can invent what he never saw, who cannot keep a secret - that man is black at he
Author: Cicero

The man who has received a benefit ought always to remember it, but he who has granted it ought to forget the fact at once.
Author: Demosthenes

The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore.
Author: Samuel Butler

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. When he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. "When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "You know what?" "What, dear?" his wife asked gently. "I think you bring me bad luck."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Q. How are husbands like lawn mowers? A. They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes