The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
Author: Alfred Hitchcock

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.
Author: James M. Barrie

Put duties aside at least an hour before bed and perform soothing, quiet activities that will help you relax.
Author: Dianne Hales

The long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead. Economists set themselves too easy, too useless a task if in tempestuous seasons they can only tell us that when the storm is past the ocean is flat again.
Author: John Maynard Keynes

The loss which is unknown is no loss at all.
Author: Publilius Syrus

What letter stands for the ocean? The letter C.
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes

Why do people leave letters at the football ground ? They want to catch the last goal-post !
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes

What letters are not in the alphabet? The ones in the mail, of course!
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes

Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The following Sunday his widow, all decked out in deepest black, was standing on the church steps after Mass, receiving condolences and enjoying every minute of it, when an old friend of the contractor came up. "I'm sorry, Mary, for your trouble," offered the friend. "Did Mike leave you well fixed?" "Oh, he did!" she said. "He left me almost a half million dollars." "Well now, that's not bad for a man who couldn't read or write." "Nor swim either," added the widow.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Mrs. Dugan and Mrs. Riley were talking one day about Mr. Riley and his constant drinking. Mrs. Dugan said, "I have an idea about how to stop him from spending so much time at the pub. Every night he comes home through the cemetery. One night you should get disguised and spook him when he comes staggering through." So Mrs. Riley waited in the cemetery one night until she heard her husband coming. She jumped up and a startled Riley said, "Who are you??" Mrs. Riley replied, "I am the devil!" With that, Riley shook her hand and said, "Glad to meet ya, I'm married to your sister."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes