Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and shortened period of mental assimilation.
Author: Konstantin Stanislavsky

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.
Author: Chinese Proverb

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.
Author: David Frost

Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.
Author: Noel Coward

Tell it not in Gath; publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon
Author: Bible

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did." To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What's a cow's favourite love song? When I fall in love , it will be for heifer.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What do lovesick owls say when it's raining? Too-wet-to-woo.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine!
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes