Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.
Author: Oliver Wendell Holmes

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and shortened period of mental assimilation.
Author: Konstantin Stanislavsky

Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.
Author: Chinese Proverb

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

My mother-in-law has got so many double chins it looks like she is peering over a pile of pancakes.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

A magician was employed by a Shipping Line to entertain the passengers during cruises. The captain owned a parrot which always insisted on being part of the acts put on by the magician. He would perch on the edge of the stage and screech, "He does it with a mirror" or "He's got it up his sleeve." The magician was furious, but since the bird was a favorite with the captain and he was anxious to retain his position for future cruises, he maintained an angry silence. One evening as the magician worked, the parrot continued to harass the unfortunate man. Sadly the ship ran into a mine which had become detached from the sea floor after a storm. The explosion tore the bow off the ship which sank within a few minutes. Amid the wreckage and the lifeboats, the magician sat on one end of a table from the first class dining room. At the other end sat the parrot, dirty and disheveled, his feathers caked with f uel oil. For some time they eyed each other malevolently saying nothing. Finally the parrot shook himself and advanced across the table. He fixed the magician with a beady eye. "Okay, I give up," he squawked. "What did you do with the ship?"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it through a magnifying glass.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes