Best quotes to send by SMS

Success only hurts the first time.
Author: Randy K. Milholland
Such praise coming from so degraded a source, was degrading to me, its recipient.
Author: Cicero
Sure i'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day.
Author: Lillian Carter
Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
Author: William Shakespeare
Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
Author: George S. Patton
The best jokes to send by SMS

Why is manna from heaven like
horse
hay?
Both are food from aloft!
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes
What kind of horse can swim underwater
without coming up for air ?
A seahorse !
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of
drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park.
Judge: What
were you doing?
1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the
pond.
Judge: And what were you doing?
2nd man: I was throwing
peanuts in the pond, too."
Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you
throwing peanuts in the pond
as well?
3rd man: No, sir. I AM
Peanuts!
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one
asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh
water or
sea water? The cruise director answered,
"Sea water." "Oh, that
explains why it's so rough
today."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes
How many archaeologists does it take to change a
light bulb?
Three. One to change it while the other two argue
about how old the old
one is.
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes