Best Cell Phones

Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.
Author: Claud Cockburn

Over one's mind and over one's body the individual is sovereign.
Author: John Stuart Mill

You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door.
Author: Henry Ward Beecher

Once you can laugh at your own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy breakes down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe... combat some of the ugliness in the world.
Author: Goldie Hawn

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Author: Mark Twain

Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Broken Bungee Barbie ...Barbie doll lying broken on the pavement
This is the joke from a category: Barbie doll jokes