Best Cell Phones

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Author: Madonna

Physicists like to think that all you have to do is say, these are the conditions, now what happens next?
Author: Richard Feynman

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.
Author: Seneca

When you helped somebody, right away you were responsible for that person. And things always followed for which you were never prepared.
Author: Martha Brooks

The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do the right deed for the wrong reason.
Author: T. S. Eliot

Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first." Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left." Patient: "OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???" Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

A pig's favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
This is the joke from a category: Political jokes