Best Cell Phones

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong -- because someday you will have been all of these.
Author: George Washington Carver

I am always afraid of your "something shall be done."
Author: Titus Maccius Plautus

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.
Author: Book of Common Prayer

We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
Author: Oscar Wilde

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Author: Michael Pritchard

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup! I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup. Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.
This is the joke from a category: Waiter jokes