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I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.
Author: Aristotle

When you are not physically starving, you have the luxury to realize psychic and emotional starvation.
Author: Cherrie Moraga

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.
Author: Mark Twain

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Author: George Washington Carver

I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Author: Madonna

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: "That's his problem."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

During an army basic training, the lieutenant took the batch on a match and asked each of them where home was. After everyone had answered, he sneered and said "you are all wrong, the army is now your home". Back at the barracks, he read the evening duties, then asked the first sergeant if he had anything to say "you bet I do" the sergeant replied, "men, while you were gone today, I found beds improperly made, clothes not hanging correctly, shoes not shined and footlockers a mess. Where do you think you are? Home?
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
This is the joke from a category: Money jokes