Best Cell Phones

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Author: Oscar Wilde

We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought.
Author: Etty Hillesum

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
Author: Judith Martin

Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.
Author: Bill Nye

Truth, after all, wears a different face to everybody, and it would be too tedious to wait till all were agreed.
Author: James Russell Lowell

Police Officer: Why did you lead me on a five-state chase? Driver: I love to travel.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ? The Baaahaaamaaas !
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies ?" "Well, I liked the book!"
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes