Best Cell Phones

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
Author: Desiderius Erasmus

Ware is a beastly business, it is true, but one proof we are human is our ability to learn, even from it, how better to exist
Author: M. F. K. Fisher

I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
Author: Babe Ruth

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Author: Mark Twain

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
Author: Harrison Ford

What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one th ing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

The tourist: "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

In Alaska's National Forests, a tourists guide was giving a talk to a group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory: "Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears. The resulting suprise can be catastrophic." To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their clothing to warn the bears of their presence. "Also," he said further, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears in the area, especially when you see bear droppings." One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?" "Oh that's easy," the guide explained, "its the ones with all the tiny bells in them!"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes