Best Cell Phones

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
Author: Al Franken

Nothing is more pleasing and engaging than the sense of having conferred benefits. Not even the gratification of receiving them.
Author: Ellis Peters

If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent.
Author: Isaac Newton

In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?
Author: Kanye West

When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it - this is knowledge.
Author: Confucius

Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? A: It's all in the grip.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now.."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

All our pigs are learning karate. Oh, I don't believe that No? Well, just watch out for their chops.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes