Best Cell Phones

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.
Author: Mark Twain

A husband is always a sensible man; he never thinks of marrying.
Author: Alexandre Dumas

A joy that's shared is a joy made double.
Author: American Proverb

A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.
Author: Washington Irving

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
Author: Jane Austen

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When he got back to the ferry slip, the ferryboat was just eight feet from the dock. Smith, afraid of missing this one and being late for dinner, took a running leap and landed right on the deck of the boat. "How did you like that jump, buddy?" said a proud John to a deck hand. "It was great," said the sailor. "But why didn't you wait? We were just pulling in!"
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac? The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. "Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender. "Who gave those beauties to you?" "Nobody gave them to me," said Sam. "I had to fight like crazy for both of them."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey. The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.
This is the joke from a category: Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun!