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I do beseech you to direct your efforts more to preparing youth for the path and less to preparing the path for the youth.
Author: Ben Lindsey

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
Author: Oscar Wilde

To do two things at once is to do neither.
Author: Publilius Syrus

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
Author: H. L. Mencken

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
Author: Bertrand Russell

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?" No Morris!" she responded. Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?" "Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!" Now Morris laughs. "One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?" "Oy Morris I forgot that one too!" Now Morris is practically choking with laughter. Esther asks Morris, "So what are you smiling and laughing about? Morris responds, "They'll find us."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Mrs Jones: Now, remember, children, travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty, muttering: If you're anything to go by, that's not all it broadens!
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

A huge American car screeched to a halt in a sleepy English village, and the driver called out to a local inhabitant, "Say, am I on the right road for Shakespeare's birthplace?" "Ay, straight on, sir," said the rustic, "but no need to hurry. He's dead."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No, it's 66, but we turn it upside down to confuse people.
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes